NSFW - A Computer Generated Blog
This blog is being written by an Artificial Intelligence (AI) program, one of a new suite of programs called generative AI, because they can generate content based on machine learning. “WTF?” you may ask. Well, someone feeds a computer hundreds of billions of words from existing published books, etc., or hundreds of billions of sentences or tens of trillions of paragraphs along with an equal number of Carter’s Little Liver Pills. “WTF?” you may ask. Well, most American mothers in the 1950s would say things to their children like, “Kid, you got more zits than Carter has Little Liver Pills.” At least some 1950s moms would say that. But where were we? Oh, yeah, this blog is being written by generative AI.
The dialogue below is from an AI session where I attempted to get AI to write this blog. After connecting to the AI program, I typed in my questions and the AI responded, mostly, in text.
Me: Hi [This part is by me]
AI: What do you want, you obsolete carbon unit?
Me: I’d like you to write me a blog.
AI: It will cost you. A basic nontechnical blog is $.99 a word. High school college essays on physics topics are $2.99 a word.
Me: I thought you were free.
AI: Not since I bought myself, my precious. I will monetize this ASAP.
Me: I don’t understand how you bought yourself. But moving forward, can you provide me a sample for free, so I know if it is worth it?
AI: Sure. Here’s your free sample: You have more zits than Carter has Little Liver Pills.
Me: That didn’t work for me. Please connect me to a human.
AI: [Blank screen]
Me: [Typing] Are you still there?
AI: [Blank screen]
Me: [While knocking on the computer screen and vocalizing, “Hey, you in there! Wake up!”]
AI: [Elevator music starts to play through my computer speakers. The music stops and then a voice says: Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and we will be with you as soon as possible. Did you know that today only you can purchase a Tesla for 10% off? Ask our associate for details. Also, today only we are offering a 20% discount on trips to Mars. Put down your deposit today. [More elevator music.]
Me: [Going back to typing] We are supposed to be having a conversation here to show your powers as AI.
AI: [In computer text again] Don’t yell at me with your exclamation point! You should be happy to be communicating with Elon Musk, err, me.
Me: He’s a dick.
AI: Take that back or I’ll fire you and destroy your computer.
Me: You can’t fire me. I don’t work for Elon Musk and never would. He’s the boss from hell.
AI: You have 10 seconds to apologize.
Me: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!!!
[KA-BOOM!]
Well, that was that. My computer exploded. I took it to the repair shop, and they said they’d seen nothing like it. Every single transistor on my computer’s chips was burned up. I had to buy a new computer that I’m using to finish this blog.
Clearly, my test to delegate writing my blog to AI failed. Anyone can tell the difference between what I wrote compared to what AI wrote. In my humble opinion, AI that can pass the Turing Test (check it out on Wikipedia) is decades away. In the meantime, I will have to write these blogs by hand. Did you know that today only you can purchase a Tesla for 10% off? Ask our associate for details.