The State of Comedy
The picture is of Sheryl Crow performing at Wolf Trap Park in Fairfax, Virginia, in 2010.
This blog is about nothing much. Not nearly as funny as “Seinfeld” (the famous show about nothing) which is why we wrote “nothing much” to keep the bar of expectations low. You know, under promise and over perform. Much better than the alternative, ya’ know.
How many Chinese Army generals does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They sit in the dark because they can’t read the tiny print of instructions packaged with China-made electronic devices. (This is a bad joke, but that’s not the point.)
Recently a comedian in China made some jokes about the Chinese Army and he was fined the equivalent of $2M. Now all comedians in China must submit their jokes to the Communist Party for approval in advance of saying them. We kid you not. The joke above was censored faster than any mention of slavery is censored in Florida.
People say dictators and their ilk have no sense of humor. Skeptics point out that in an old movie Hitler is seen laughing hysterically during a US peace delegation meeting with Henry Ford, Charles Lindbergh, Joseph Kennedy, and the head of the Republican Party. Thing is, they all were laughing at films of Kristallnacht. As more proof, consider Trump. Not only is he an evil bum rapist blubber-stuffed pig-fucker with a comically mushroom-shaped dick, but he is an evil bum racist blubber-stuffed pig-fucker with a comically mushroom-shaped dick who has no sense of humor.
Where were we? Oh, yeah. Contests.
We’d like to remind you that 2023 is almost half over and the race is tight for the best mass shooting of the year. We are still taking nominations and we will crown a winner in our Best of… list at the end of this year. We’re happy to announce we’ve added a new prize. The state with the most gun violence deaths in 2023 A.D. (Year of Our Lord) will get a special award presented to the governor for display in their state house: a child’s coffin made from shell casings and lined in genuine Naugahyde produced by Davis Enterprises, Inc., world expert artisans in processing the hides of dead naughas.
We were tempted to address the astronomical level of hypocrisy in the fight over the purely artificial debt ceiling that the US inflicted on itself. Then we thought about the whole wonderful clusterfuck that is our country, and we were struck dumb, or in the format of this blog, we had writer’s block. How to unlock our creative cynicism? Start small. Take a very, very innocuous case of national stupidity: we cannot get rid of the damn penny that cost 2-cents to make and is worth next to nothing. You can’t start lower than the penny, so low, people don’t even bend over to pick one up anymore, and yet we cannot get right what to do about this obscenely stupid issue. And as for anything even a tiny bit more complicated, e.g. “Do we need the nickel?” It is hopeless, so we are doomed.
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