Old Time Religion
People are asking great questions (see note) about how often they should check for a new blog entry on this website. The answer is simple: probably once a week or thereabouts. Maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. It depends. And, of course, it’s complicated.
Note: Let’s outlaw: “That’s a great question.” Really. EVERY freakin’ question these days is a great question. It’s like a participation trophy. You ask a question, it’s a great question. What happened to all the dumb questions, like, “Is Trump is a fascist?” Answer: “Sorry, that’s a dumb question. Next.”
Note on this note: Let’s also outlaw: “Going forward.” EVERY commentator on TV these days says, “Going forward,” as in “Will Trump continue to be a fascist going forward?” Or, “Do you think World War III will be bad going forward?” Just friggin’ stop it!!
Finally, here is the real subject of this post.
I’d like to say a few words in support of an ancient, but effective, method for improving your life, namely, sacrificing animals. It’s that old time religion! Under constant stress, I’ve taken to consuming cannabis gummies. Before going forward, let me announce that I am a member of PETA and support farm animal protection groups, so this is merely a thought experiment. Sort of. After a breakfast of three gummies, I went out for a drive and ran over a cow that had the gall to stand in a field I used as a shortcut on my way to the vegan farmers’ market. Betty suggested we burn the carcass to eliminate the evidence. We did. But, hey, why waste a good burning carcass without chanting a few incantations to Zeus? Excellent question, right? So, we did that too, and for good measure we took off our clothes and danced naked around the burning cow. Well, let me tell you, as soon as we pulled into our garage getting home, I found a $20 bill on the floor. No kidding. For real. I’m not saying you should sacrifice a cow, not as long as I am a member of PETA, but if you ever think you may be short an Andrew Jackson, you should keep this idea in your toolbox going forward.